Why Can’t I Get My Medicine

It’s so frustrating when people make mistakes that can cause me physical harm. I take Gabapentin for Small Fiber Neuropathy, and it does a good job of preventing the pain. It’s not for general pain, and that is why it’s become a controversial drug. It has been prescribed too often for general pain, and the government became involved.

Gabapentin is actually an anti-convulsant. It was also designed for types of neuropathy pain and restless-leg syndrome. Those of us who need the drug now have to suffer because of doctors who have been prescribing it needlessly. This is also partly the case because of the war on opioids, drugs that were previously used to help chronic pain.

The state of Virginia has reclassified it as a controlled substance. This basically just causes users a huge headache. I now have to be drug-tested every six months, and this is listed on my medical records. This makes me feel so anxious and annoyed.

Recently, when I tried to get a refill, I found out how messed up this process is. I didn’t know about the new classification. I knew that I couldn’t get the drug early from the pharmacy, so I planned to pick up my refill on a Friday. Although I ordered it in plenty of time for them to contact my doctor to get permission to refill, they didn’t do it. I ran out and then began to experience withdrawals after 24 hours.

By the time the doctor replied to the pharmacy, I had been off of the drug for 4 days. I had some horrible drug withdrawal symptoms. It’s hard to explain, but I felt sick all over and I felt like I was losing my mind. Since it had happened before, I just tried to deal with it the best that I could. It’s one of the worst feelings ever.

I talked to my doctor and he said that he wouldn’t allow that to happen again, and sent in a six-month prescription. The problem is that he sent in the wrong dosage. He wrote down for me to get half of my real prescription. Therefore, the pharmacy wouldn’t fill my prescription, because it showed up on their computer that I was a month early.

After calling the pharmacy, and being treated like I was a criminal, I called the doctor’s office. They called in the correct prescription. I called the pharmacy again, and they were much nicer to me. They promised my pills would be available today.

That doesn’t sound like a problem to most people. Other than the frustration, I shouldn’t necessarily get so emotional. But, because I remember the withdrawal, I was feeling a panic coming on. Spending Mother’s Day, or any weekend in severe withdrawal was terrifying. The rest of my day was lost, because I was so upset.

In a crazy world, there are numerous ways we may feel a panic. We are all affected in different ways, and need to be kind to one another. Because of the stresses of living in this society, things have become more difficult. People don’t trust each other. Using a small-town pharmacy sometimes helps, but they are all now bound by over-reaching laws.

I remember when the local pharmacist was there to help people, not suspect them of being drug addicts. Yes, I’m that old. Because I grew up in a different era, I am constantly having to remind myself to predict bad people and bad reactions from them. I don’t want that, because it only makes me more cynical.

Days like yesterday reveal that my anxiety can quickly take over. Fear, based on recent, past experiences, is understandable. People who don’t have multiple chronic illnesses may not react like I did. Over the years of living with more and more illnesses, my mind has definitely changed for the worse. Sometimes I try very hard to remember when I was living with a “normal” body.

It feels like those years were a totally different person’s life. The freedom of living with “normal” health was amazing, even though I didn’t know how different it could become. Every day is a new day, and I may have a day of my “new normal” or I may experience something new.

This week I had my diagnosis of Hyperparathyroidism confirmed. I saw an Endocrinologist, who is going to do more tests. They want to find out more about my bones and want to see if they can tell the cause of this new disease. He believes that I have Normocalcemic Hyperparathyroidism, which just means that my PTH is elevated, but my Calcium is normal.

I’ll soon have a Sonogram of the Thyroid and a new DEXA (bone density scan). I have a lot to learn about this condition and want to read as much as I can. I’m confused, because the doctor hasn’t found out the cause and whether or not my disease is primary or secondary.

My broken foot isn’t hurting as much, and I hope that there is healing. I’ll found out in a month, with an x-ray at my follow-up appointment. I’ll just keep hobbling around with my cane, feeling 100 years old.

I’m thankful that the foot isn’t in a cast, because that would be so much worse. I’m also thankful to be spending Mother’s Day with my oldest. My youngest will arrive here for a visit in a couple of weeks! And, I had a tremendous visit with our daughter last week. Her family is so much fun to be with!

1 Peter 2:20–21: Doing good and enduring suffering is a “gracious thing in the sight of God,” as it follows the example of Christ.

I will always try to count the blessings that I have. I have to be thankful that God has called me to suffer. With each new diagnosis, the calling seems more real. I’m not always successful at responding well. It’s not easy to be thankful in the good and the bad. God is good to me, no matter what my physical body may tell me.

@2026, copyright Lisa Ehrman

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my experiences and opinions and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.