Chronic Illness Is Horrible

Whew! The last few days have been some of my hardest. Hubby started with some chest pain, but it wasn’t very bad. He said that it hurt when he took a deep breath. It was off and on, until Saturday evening. My son and I were talking to him about it, as we googled the symptoms.

Because I gave up getting him to go to any doctor decades ago, I told him that he had to make the decision. The more he talked about how he felt, the more I felt that he should go to the ER. Our son drove us over about two miles to our local hospital.

When he registered he told them he had chest pains. He was called back within a couple of minutes. The nurses and doctor hooked him up with heart monitors and an IV. Watching the monitor, it looked like A Fib to me, but I didn’t say anything. The doctor spoke up rather quickly and said that his heart rhythm was off and his heart was racing too fast.

I can’t remember the name, but he was started on two medicines that were to lower his heart rate. After quite a while, his rate decreased to a normal level. I stayed with him in the ER room, sitting in a straight chair. Around 5 AM, my pain was through the roof. He was told that they were about to transport him to a bigger hospital.

Our son came and drove me back to the house. I’m used to being driven around since my wrists are too painful to hold the steering wheel. I haven’t driven in many months, as Hubby has driven me everywhere. After sitting in the chair for over 6 hours, I was around a good 8/10. I don’t get there easily.

I realize that the last few years I’ve lived to primarily prevent pain from getting to this level. Sitting in a straight chair is the worse thing for my body with hEDS, scoliosis, and arthritis. I was wired and worried. I tried all the stretches and even standing. Because my left foot has constant pain, I can’t stand up long. So, most of my body was in excruciating pain.

When I got home our dog, Archie, was excited and trying to jump on me. I took off my shoes and dropped onto the bed. The adjustable head of the bed was up so high, so I pushed the button to adjust it and fell asleep. When I awoke, two hours later, I found that I had put the foot of the bed as high as it would go. That was weird, as I had pushed the wrong button in my pain-ridden state. My pain was horrible, but I needed to go to the hospital to be with Hubby.

When I called to find his room number, neither hospital said that he was there as a patient. I was confused and started calling all the regional hospitals. After an hour, he finally called me from the room phone. He must have been in the ambulance when I started calling him. Now that I had found his location, I started the 45 minute drive.

Even though my right hand was in a brace, it did nothing to help the pain. This is another reason that I haven’t driven in such a long time: my hand was burning and tingling along with severe pain. The other wrist was bad, but it wasn’t burning with neuropathy. I arrived at the hospital and found that it was undergoing major renovations. The main door was covered with construction workers, so after finding the only parking spot I could, I head slowly to the other entrance.

It didn’t look like it was far as it actually was. When I tried to open the door it was locked and I could see no one inside. Even using the cain, my pain level was at an 8. I kept going around another corner, but there were no other entrances. I then remembered the radiology department entrance. I literally hobbled around the building and found the door open. Thank you, God!

I was panting and the man at the registration was very kind to push me in a wheelchair back to the correct part of the hospital. I got to Hubby’s room and collapsed into another straight chair. After a few hours the nurse found me a “recliner” that was hard as a rock. But, I was so very thankful to put my swollen foot up. Hubby was in great spirits and was already feeling much better.

He finally got food for lunch, after not eating for many hours. I was so relieved that his heart rate was staying down. I think he’s getting good care, and my child who works in ICU as an OT said that his treatment was standard. I wasn’t able to drive to get him today because I was in excruciating pain. Most of my joints were throbbing, especially my fingers.

I couldn’t sleep at all and felt hot and cold at the same time. I realized that I had been without Gabapentin for two days and was already having terrible withdrawal. I can’t explain how I felt, it’s just one of the worse feelings ever. I knew that my prescription could be picked up this morning, but I would have to drive there and go inside. They said it was controlled so I couldn’t get my usual home delivery.

I begged the pharmacist on the phone to please deliver it, but she said that they weren’t allowed. I’m so used to Hubby doing all these things for me, and I have realized how much I depend on him. I’ve had two doses of the Gabapentin and I’m feeling better with each dose. My body is very dependent on it, for neuropathic pain. I hate that and wonder what the doctor will say.

Today was such a long, boring post for you. But, if you’ve gone to similar times you will understand the horror in being so chronically ill when your husband or wife need you. Being a carer is terrifically difficult and Hubby does it well and without complaint. Now, when he needs me to be the carer I prove that I’m incapable.

I started to worry about what will happen if we have another situation like this. If all else fails, I can probably get an Uber to drive us. I could call 911. There are ways to be better at this. I need to make a list of the various problems we might face with health danger. I thankfully brought the phones and chargers, which help us to stay in close communication with family. I should remember to bring a little bag with some essentials, because he didn’t have anything.

I’ll be reading all the notes from the doctor and other articles online. We will need to try and be less stressed, too. Hubby and I are both easily stressed and very intense. It’s part of our personalities, and he’s OCD. This anxiety feeds off each other’s stress. We need to work to release some of those worries and anxieties. Prayer and meditating on the Word of God does bring us peace, so it would be important to do a lot more of that.

“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart”. Psalm 73:26

One of the hard things will be to stop a lot of the coffee drinking around here. We can try some herbal tea that doesn’t have caffeine. There will be other things that we should change.

I’m still exhausted and hurting and not lifting a finger until I am in better shape. We can just walk around the mess on the floor and keep a good sense of humor. Laughing is good medicine and it’s true!

And, I really need a Handicapped license plate.