Ways I’m Fighting Chronic Illness

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Today was a better day. My itch flare was better, but the pain isn’t. Using my hands continues to get tougher and I don’t know exactly what to do about it. The swelling was down a little this morning, so I was able to put my brace on the right (worst) hand.

I’m using my left hand for all the difficult things. Hopefully that doesn’t cause my left AVN wrist to collapse sooner. I don’t really know and the doctors don’t have any answers for me. I just need to deal with the pain as long as possible before they perform a wrist fusion.

Hubby got biopsy results today, with good and bad news. He does have a Squamous Cell Cancer on his arm, which is very small. The good news is that it is not the agressive type. It shouldn’t spread, but it might grow. I’m glad they removed it. They’ll now go back and remove a little more of the tissue to make sure all the cells are out.

We hope to take our grandchildren to a peach festival on Saturday, but I’m afraid it may be rained out. They plan to have pick-your-own fruit, offer a wagon ride around the orchard, and listen to a Blue Grass group. I think the grandkids will love it, especially the dairy free peach ice-cream. If it rains, I hope that they’ll postpone the festival.

I’ve been there before during apple-picking season. It’s got a beautiful view of the Blue Ridge mountains because it’s very close. The only problem is that there’s a lot of walking with no way for my wheelchair to roll. We’ve tried it before and the ground and gravel are extremely uneven. So, if we go the children will have to pick fruit without me.

Being a person who can’t walk very many steps, I need the wheelchair for “events” and museums, etc… When a place doesn’t have wheelchair accessible ground or floors, I just can’t participate. I know farms and many outdoor places can’t put little paved sidewalks everywhere, but missing out makes me sad.

I can accept that I will be missing out on many moments that are precious. I become more quiet, because I am hurting. Sometimes, I can’t really pretend that I feel normal. People don’t like to hear about my pain. While my immediate family is very sympathetic, many other people aren’t. To be more involved and participate more, an electric wheelchair that drives well on bumpy surfaces, is what I need.

That will need to be put on the back burner, because our medical bills have placed us in serious credit card debt. The huge jump in my health insurance premiums, surgery bills, testing, and hospital stays have been the cause.

We have seen this kind of debt before. About 20 years ago, our debt spiraled out of control, because of medical debt. This time, as we did in the past, we’re buckling down and removing some categories from our budget. It’s so hard to stop buying extra things or treats for the grandkids. If we can cut in other areas, there’s a little more available in that category.

I’m trying to be content with less money to spend. As we make cuts, we’re getting ourselves out of medical debt. We have now hit our out-of-pocket maximum, so that means our debt won’t grow as much. The premiums are still a big section of our income. As I deal with all these problems and the mental stress that comes with it, I try to focus on imaginative ways to save.

I find many ways online, many ways from common sense, and even re-read some of my frugal living posts. Reminding myself of my mission daily gives me a little boost to help me stay on task.

Prayer does that same thing. When I pray daily, I know that God listens and guides me. I also pray for my kids and grandkids, who have their own journeys. When we can try to walk a straight path, instead of up and down like a roller coaster, we get less dizzy and nauseated. (I used terms we all know)…..

We can’t really avoid the ups and downs in our health journey, (or the mental stress it brings). Most days I’m able to feel energized in my soul, if not in my body. Even when I am feeling depressed from the pain, I know deep-down that God is still with me.

Joshua 1:9 says, This is My command: be strong and courageous. Never be afraid or discouraged because I am your God, the Eternal One, and I will remain with you wherever you go.

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my experiences and opinions, and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.