Little Things

At the anniversary of our move to our new home, I’m trying my best to get the place decorated. We’ve done most of the things on the list, but there are lots of little things that need to be done. Usually the hardest things are left until the end. I’ve procrastinated, and I can say that even though I’m disabled. I often think that on my “normal” days I could do 15 minutes toward my goals.

At the end of one year, I could have accomplished more if I had try this method. Should I shame myself or feel embarrassed? I don’t think the correct word is shame or embarrassment. I think the right word is disappointment.

Disappointment and contentment don’t mesh. On my to-do list, many things are just cleaning or organizing. I can organize so much faster than clean. My house really needs a spring cleaning. I’m trying to do a little each day, and I’ve completed a few things. Of course, Hubby is helping when he can.

He feels so bad! His cancer screenings seem to show that it’s not active. I don’t understand cancer, but I do know that he is getting more tired and weak every day. He sleeps a lot during the day and night. His balance is bad and he continues to have falls. I’m very worried about him.

My list of chores has increased, because I feel that I need to do more around the house. He’s been taking care of me for years, but it’s not right to expect that anymore. When I do a chore, I just have to take a lot of breaks. Some days there is no way that I will be able to do work. I just have to let that be alright. I can’t feel shame over something I can’t help.

But, you know that just because I say I won’t feel shame or disappointment with myself, doesn’t mean it will actually happen. When I mix in my sadness, disappointment, and hard-work ethic, I come out with a complex outlook. Those of us with chronic illness can probably relate.

My ability to be content is attacked with physical pain, psychological feelings, exhaustion, medicine side-effects, and so much more. Trying to overcome any of these things is impossible. I have too many diseases to experience relief from all of these terrible things.

Only with my faith can I find contentment. My relationship with Jesus Christ brings me joy and contentment. My body and mind fight against that, but when I trust Christ and pray, contentment just comes. I’m so thankful for that. He does for me what I can never do for myself.

Jesus said,“I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who abides in me and I in him bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

@2026, copyright Lisa Ehrman

Disclosure: I’m not a medical expert. This post contains my opinions and experiences, and is not meant to be taken as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your personal physician.